It was a normal Sunday like any other.  Grandpa and I arrived home from church,  and I went out back to light the gas grill.  I was at the grill with my lighter, when I discovered that I was not alone on the porch.  This charming fella was watching me from the table ….

The snake was lying so still and had such a plastic appearance that I was totally convinced it was fake.  In my mind, I was already compiling a list of people who might have come to our house to plant the fake snake on our table while we were out. 

When I got inside, I yelled for Grandpa, and he, too, thought it was fake.  I decided I’d better make sure, so I threw a Sharpie marker at the snake.  No movement.

I threw a piece of mail at it.  No movement.  Yup, it’s a fake one.  I’m planning what I will do to my nephew(s) who were probably laughing about this practical joke. 

In one last ditch effort, I slid my broom across the table at the snake.  FANGS!  How clever my nephews are!  They found a battery operated fake snake to place on our table while we were at church.  Creeps!

Just then, the snake turned its head and looked at me.  It was not a battery operated fake snake.  It was a real live black snake.  It was on the table on my back porch.  It was twelve inches away from our grill.  It was six feet away from our doggie door which would allow him access to the INSIDE of our home!!!!

I immediately closed the back door and called for help.  Grandpa is a courageous man, but he doesn’t really like snakes.  So I called my nephew who lives nearby. 

This is the same nephew I suspected of planting the “fake” snake, but he didn’t know that.  By the time he arrived, the snake was not as friendly as he was at first.  He had coiled himself on the table, and his fangs were working overtime.

 Josh used the broom handle to pin down his head, and then he was able to pick him up with gloved hands.  Josh has lots of experience with handling black snakes, and it’s handy having him around.  Grandpa was certainly relieved not to have to deal with our guest!

Here’s Josh, our hero, ready to transfer the snake from our porch to the woods where he will be free to help with pest control.

I still feel kind of shivery when I think that the snake could have slithered through our doggie door into the dining room.  I don’t even want to think about what it would have been like to see a snake on the dining room table!

For now, we’re keeping the doggie door closed, and we’ve got Josh’s number on speed dial!