At our house, we don’t have hard fast rules about division of duties. Jack sometimes washes dishes and hangs out laundry, and I sometimes shovel snow and take out the trash. We both, however, have our lines that we refuse to cross. Jack doesn’t cook, and I don’t remove dead squirrels from the living room floor.
Our dog Mocha has a lot of stuffed toys that we’ve bought for her at yard sales. Her toys are often scattered on the living room floor. I suppose that’s why I didn’t notice the dead squirrel lying on our living room rug until 11:00 last night.
That’s a mistake anyone could make, right? I’ll admit, I was pretty freaked out last night when I discovered this. The idea that a dead squirrel had quite possibly been sharing our living space for an evening was making me more than a little uncomfortable.
As soon as I realized that this squirrel was not, in fact, a toy, I knew it had to be removed from our home. And I knew just the man to do it.
While Jack was scrambling for a plastic Walmart bag and an empty Velveeta cheese box with which he would scoop and toss that poor dead squirrel, I contemplated why it is that HE has to do the dirty work while I stand at a distance and photograph the event. It just doesn’t seem fair. Jack didn’t want to turn his attention from the Cubs and Cardinals to Rodent Removal, but he did it because he’s THE MAN.
This sounds and is incredibly sexist, I know. But I don’t care. Rodent removal is man’s work, and last night even more than most nights, I was grateful to have a man in the house.
We still don’t know if this squirrel wandered in our doggie door of its own accord and keeled over in our living room when it heard John Kruk singing, or if Mocha killed it and carried it inside. We do know that Mocha has never killed a squirrel before. We don’t know why Mocha didn’t tear it apart, or why she was asleep in bed while the squirrel was lying in repose on our living room rug.
We do know that from now on, the doggie door will be closed at night. From now on, we will be monitoring the movements of our mighty hunter. Even the man of this house is ready to draw the line at rodent removal!
What would you do if you found a dead squirrel on your living room floor?