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Rodent Removal Is Man’s Work

At our house, we don’t have hard fast rules about division of duties.  Jack sometimes washes dishes and hangs out laundry, and I sometimes shovel snow and take out the trash.  We both, however, have our lines that we refuse to cross.  Jack doesn’t cook, and I don’t remove dead squirrels from the living room floor.
Our dog Mocha has a lot of stuffed toys that we’ve bought for her at yard sales.  Her toys are often scattered on the living room floor.  I suppose that’s why I didn’t notice the dead squirrel lying on our living room rug until 11:00 last night.

That’s a mistake anyone could make, right?  I’ll admit, I was pretty freaked out last night when I discovered this.  The idea that a dead squirrel had quite possibly been sharing our living space for an evening was making me more than a little uncomfortable.

As soon as I realized that this squirrel was not, in fact, a toy, I knew it had to be removed from our home.  And I knew just the man to do it.

While Jack was scrambling for a plastic Walmart bag and an empty Velveeta cheese box with which he would scoop and toss that poor dead squirrel, I contemplated why it is that HE has to do the dirty work while I stand at a distance and photograph the event.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  Jack didn’t want to turn his attention from the Cubs and Cardinals to Rodent Removal, but he did it because he’s THE MAN.

This sounds and is incredibly sexist, I know.  But I don’t care.  Rodent removal is man’s work, and last night even more than most nights, I was grateful to have a man in the house.

We still don’t know if this squirrel wandered in our doggie door of its own accord and keeled over in our living room when it heard John Kruk singing, or if Mocha killed it and carried it inside.  We do know that Mocha has never killed a squirrel before.  We don’t know why Mocha didn’t tear it apart, or why she was asleep in bed while the squirrel was lying in repose on our living room rug.

We do know that from now on, the doggie door will be closed at night.  From now on, we will be monitoring the movements of our mighty hunter.  Even the man of this house is ready to draw the line at rodent removal!
Mocha, the mighty hunter

What would you do if you found a dead squirrel on your living room floor? 


10 thoughts on “Rodent Removal Is Man’s Work

  1. OMG Elaine squirrels are so pretty to watch while they work and play in the yard. But God almighty DO NOT come in to my house alive or dead! I would have done the same thing as you did, call in the men force. Of course in my house they come short and sqwaty and tall and thin, I dont care how they are built or how old they are rodent disposlet willl lay on them. they are THE MEN of the house!! bleck not me 😉

    1. They are pretty to watch, Gwen, and I felt bad that this one would play no more. We are so fortunate to have men to take care of stuff like this!

  2. This was hysterical! I freaked out when I found a worm in our living room a couple of years ago, am horrified when we have our annual summer ant invasion, and go completely berserk whenever we get mice. A dead squirrel would send me around the bend.
    You bet I would call my husband or one of my sons to dispose of the carcase, just like you.

    1. I wouldn’t like worms or bugs anymore than squirrels!

  3. LOL Sorry to laugh but this reminded me of when we had a mouse in the house and it got stuck on a glue trap. It was my youngest son that was a teenager at the times duty to dispose of the mouse.
    I can handle frogs and lizards in the house but not a mouse.

    Maggie would be the one I would lay blame for bringing a squirrel into the house.

    1. A mouse would freak me out, too, Cindy! But I might be even more freaked out about frogs and lizards. And Mocha’s getting the blame for this one, too.

  4. HAHAHAHAHA You have a great sense of humor. 😀
    I admit I’d freak out if I found a dead or live one in my house. I’d be able to remove a dead one if Tim isn’t here. A mouse is a different story.
    I’ve seen this red squirrel on my porch snooping around. I’ll have to be careful when I open the door or I may have a dead squirrel in my house one day.

    1. I don’t want to remove any dead animals, but I know I could do it if I had to. Be careful with that red squirrel!

  5. I had to call my DIL when I had a bird flying around my upstairs. I cowered in the downstairs bathroom. She and my baby that’s graduating and my two young granddaughters trooped upstairs and got it. I heard a lot of shrieking going on up there. Now if it was a spider I would be the one having to rescue my DIL! About the dead squirrel I suppose I could do that. I would get the carpet shampooer out ( but not to suck up the dead squirrel- do not try that, it would not work. Just sayin’

    1. You crack me up, Chris! I’m picturing you trying to vacuum up a dead squirrel!

      I would freak out with a bird in the house, too. I don’t like spiders, but I have had to kill them myself sometimes. If I had been alone the other night, I would have been able to dispose of the squirrel myself. But I’m so glad my husband was home to do the dirty work.

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