I used to dread Mother’s Day. That was the day we went to church and all of the moms were asked to stand up and be recognized during church. Some years the moms even got a carnation. It was a lovely gesture for all the moms in attendance, and I’m positive that the person who thought up the idea of recognizing moms in church with applause and flowers never intended to hurt anyone.
There were, however, a decade of Mother’s Days when I had to summon all the control I could muster to keep from crying when the carnation-bearing ushers passed me by. It’s hard not to be a mom on Mother’s Day especially when you really want to be a mom.
This perpetual longing for a child eventually led me to a crisis of faith. I had a choice to make. I could either become increasingly bitter over the fact that God was denying my wish for a child, or I could cling to what I know to be true about God. That is that He loves me, knows what is best for me, and makes no mistakes. I chose truth. I chose to accept with gratitude all of the blessings that God showered on me, even when one of those “blessings” was childlessness.
Now that I’m a grandma, having skipped the child-bearing that usually accompanies that distinction, I can look back on those years and see that God had a plan for me. I just didn’t know it yet. He knew that a certain ten year old girl was going to be needing a haven for a year (or eleven) in the near future, and that haven was to be our home.
I think about what I would have missed if I’d have had a baby when I’d wanted one so badly. I’d have missed watching that certain little girl grow up to be a lovely young woman. A girl who isn’t my daughter, but a girl who perfectly fills the longing that I had to be a mother. Who but God could do that?
Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate and honor mothers, and that is a wonderful thing. It’s also a time for me to look back and remember that God can fill any longing of my heart, and He can do it in ways that I would never imagine.
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Thank you, Cindy. 🙂
…..and now that sweet little mother can teach her daughter “what Grandma knows.” What a joy for you and her.
She and her little one are a source of joy, Marygail. Thank you. 🙂
Thank you for sharing from you heart. It is encouraging to see how He has built your faith even in the valley’s. Your certain young lady has grown into a beautiful young mother, and I know God will continue to bless you and her throughout the years. May we always choose to see the many blessings He has given rather than grow bitter longing for what we can not have.
Thank you, Ann. I am certain of God’s continued blessings.
A thoughtful post. I have known many women who feel so hurt on Mother’s Day because they weren’t able to have children or weren’t married, but desired to be. Some churches give a flower to all women on Mother’s Day. I’m not sure if this helps, but at least it doesn’t make such an obvious distinction between those with children and those without.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
My generation did not get the art classes in school to be able to cut, draw, color & glue! so as I think my Mother would have loved to receive the respect on that special Holiday back then. I did not have such things as colors, paper, glue or that wonderful colored paper we can get so easily nowdays. Maybe it was too expensive or unimportant for our parents to get us those tools. But if we think about it now how wonderful it is now in this age to get those things so easily! Grandma’s get out the crayon’s & glue and set the kids beside you and go to work. You’ll get respect!
You are so right about that, Mordine! Grandmas get to do that fun stuff now.
I had a very similar experience with Mother’s Day for many years, and had a very similar learning to trust God experience resulting from our years with infertility. You’ve said it very well.
Thank you, Renee. I do remember when you were going through your years of infertility.